How early is too early?

There is a lot in the news lately about early education. I just finished reading this article in the SF Chronicle about the decisions to either start your kid in Kindergarten at the age of 4 or "redshirt" a kid until they are six.

You see, Cobalt was born November 10. The current cutoff in California is December 5. That means that, if we want, Cobalt could enter Kindergarten while he is still 4 (three years from now). As far as I can tell, we would have the option to hold him back if we don't think he is ready. Apparently, there is legislation on the table that would move the date up to September 30 by the time he is "ready" to start kindergarten.

Now, I think it's too early to tell whether or not he will be ready for kindergarten in 3 years or 4. But Cobalt is big for his age, seems to be a "nice kid" (at least that's what everyone else tells me) and he doesn't appear to be dumb. However, he is, compared to other of our friends, a late-talker. Just recently he began to use words for most things, and can go through the Richard Scarry books and shout out his words for planes, trucks, cars and even chicken!

Since I've never been around kids of this age, I have no metric for where he is supposed to be, development-wise. So I have no idea if he is actually "smart", "slow" or just plain average. I think we've always assumed that he would enter school early, due to the simple fact that he is so big. Even if he were able to start Kindergarten when he is still 4, he will most likely be one of the bigger kids in the class. If he has to wait another year, he will almost certainly be the biggest.

At this point, it seems almost absurd to think about it, but after reading articles like this, it comes to the front of the mind. Furthermore, we are hoping to start him in preschool next fall, as well.

Only time will tell.

Premature blogging

Well, I guess I spoke too soon. I had nothing to do with his bedding behavior. He woke up with a nasty snotty cold. I guess he was just tired.

Mom is now back and so is the bottle. We'll see how his sleep goes.

ch...ch...ch...ch...Changes!

Shit, things seem to be progressing fast around here. I posted before about him starting to talk more. But that's not even it. Every thing he does every day seems to be new and improved over yesterday. Let me shoot off a few examples here...

Dogs...Just today, he started to call Teeva, "T.C.", which is what I use sometimes when calling her (it stands for Teeva Chiro). Not only that, we were getting ready to take (all four) dogs out for our evening walk and Teeva was, of course, lagging behind. So he started yelling down the hallway, "TC...cmn", which I translated as "come on". Furthermore, after we got outside and TC was waiting on the top step and Cobalt was half-way down already (by himself and upright, thank you very much) he turned around and went back up and pushed on her butt to force her to get down.

Sleep... I suppose I should mention that Kyle is out of town, working on a courthouse renovation (she's the Project Architect, and defacto PM) in Fresno. (Apparently, they need more courtrooms to handle all the meth cookers in the area.)
Anyway, Cobalt's still been having a hell of a time getting to sleep at night, usually requiring a bottle of two of milk and his father having to put him back to bed a couple of times and/or his mother lying with him in bed until he falls asleep. Well, for the last two nights, it's been dad reading him a couple of stories and then goodnight. Last night, when I went to leave his room, he wanted a bottle (after refusing one 1/2-hour previous). Tonight, when I put the little angel down, he gave about 4 kisses, and as I got up to leave, instead of crying or getting out of bed, he just gave me a little wave and rolled over to go to sleep.
My friends, you have no idea how big this is for us. We've tried a number of things to get him to go and stay asleep at night. First, we tried a "routine"...that didn't last long as neither Kyle, me or Cobalt could adhere to it. Then we found him a new bed on craigslist. Then Kyle made some blankets for him... the first one was great and the second one, well, I really don't know what she was thinking.
So last week we went comforter shopping. After spending nearly an hour and a half in the stupid Bed, Bath and Beyond, we came out of there with nothing, as all they had was either shit or out of stock. I then went to Ikea to pick one up...it was cheaper and nicer. After getting the new comforter, he has slept through the night, without getting up to snuggle with mom, several times. I guess I can't take all the credit for his better sleep, but I'd like to think I helped in some way.

shoes... he has been very unwilling to wear any shoes on his feet for several weeks, or has it been months. We'd gotten him several pairs of chuck taylor's as they seemed to be the best for his high instep. We also have been buying him Teva sandals, too. Both have helped, but for the last couple of weeks, he didn't want the sandals or the chucks. Finally, last week, I took him up to the shoe store on Haight that has the chucks. Even though I hate Haight street, I was already there to pick up some contacts for Kyle, so I figured "what the hell". And I wheeled the boy over to see if he'd be interested in another pair. Lo and behold, he wanted another pair of red high-tops. So I got him a size 8 this time, up from the sevens. He put them right on and wore them out the store. They seemed a little long, but after a few trots, he was no longer stumbling.
This past weekend, on our shopping excursion to the gap and old navy, namely for jeans for me and pj's for him, Kyle found some high-tops on sale that were even better for his high instep than chucks...they lace down just as low, but they are more wedge-like than ankle-fitting, so his foot doesn't get smooshed. After two days at school, he reportedly has only taken one shoe off once.

Geez, I wonder what he's going to do tomorrow...start drawing?

Ham and Potatoes

Last night, after putting hime to bed, Cobalt got up and started crying. We were in the backyard, enjoying the clear skies and fresh air. We put him back...he got back up. Turns out, he had a poopsie-diapie.
While I was changing him, and we were holding our noses and saying, "stinky! stinky!", I asked him what he had for lunch that made him so stinky. Well, he started to mumble and I could swear that what came out of his mouth was that they had ham and potatoes and that it was "mmmmmmmm".
Now, maybe I was halucinating or just had wishfull thinking, but I think he really did make that statement...of coarse, it could have been hamburgers with tomatoes, too.

More Opera

This past Sunday was Opera in the Park. I forgot my camera, so forgive me for not getting any pictures up. The weather was fantastic, I even ran around showing everyone my big fat white hairy belly. Cobalt was fantastic! Only ate (or tried to eat) the neighbor's picnic food twice. He had no tantrums, was very quiet the whole time, and learned how to buckle the buckle on the stroller. I couldn't have asked for a better day out of the kid.

A strange thing, though, happened as I took him for a walk around the park during intermission. You see, he and I went barefoot. Well, we are in SF, and it was a beautiful day, and well, have you ever tried to put shoes on Cobalt when he doesn't want them? Anyway, we were walking around like a couple of hippies, just enjoying ourselves and the little bit of excercise and minding our own fucking business. A number of people we passed, however, made snide remarks about his feet beeing cold, or careful of the grass, etc. Fuck them! It's my kid and if he wants to walk around barefoot with my permission he fucking can. He's not cold, he hate's shoes and has leather soles, and mind your own fucking business.

Sorry about the rant.

Next stop, another ball game on Wednesday. I think he's really going to enjoy the slide this time...

F***ing Dogs

Ok, so we got asked on Labor Day to dogsit a coupld of dogs that we've sat before. As it turns out, we have these dogs for almost 2 whole weeks! We've taken these dogs in before, and always have little problems with them, but we can usually deal. This time, however, I think the problems are getting bigger and I don't know if we can deal anymore...

Dog A, who has bitten my toe before and sent his mother for stitches twice, bit Cobalt the other night. The dog was lying on Cobalt's bed and Cobalt went over and gave a pat and he put a whole in the kid's hand. Nothing bad, but there was blood and this is entirely unacceptable. This dog has a 4 month old baby at home, and once the kid get's into the discovery age...look out! I hope he doesn't lose any digits.

Dog B, whose only usual problem is pissing on furniture or the floor, has taken to eating the back door. Now that we have a yard, we've been putting the mutts in the back yard during the day with Teeva, so as not to cause any distress or destruction. Well, the door is fuct but fixable (I hope) and I've installed some gurads to hopefully prevent it from doing any more damage.

I fucking hate small dogs!

The next time we fly

I heard this story on Marketplace on the way home yesterday. It's a new seatbelt-type thing that just got approved by the FAA for flying with a toddler.

It looks just like a half-way normal seatbelt that converts the airplane lap-belt into a 5-point harness. It's just $74.95, which I find a little steap for what it is. But compared to lugging a carseat along, it's gotta be worth it.

Keeping my youth

Another non-kid related post...

When I first moved to California, I really got into seeing live music again. For a while, I was going to 3-5 shows a week, probably. Well, after settling down and making Cobalt, that all came to a screeching halt. I didn't give it up for any other reasons except that I now had a family and enjoyed spending time with them, I am fucking tired at the end of the day and we are basically broke, or have very little expendible income these days.

So when I saw that Soul Asylum was playing again after Karl Mueller's death last year, I thought that this would be a good show to see. To top it off, Tommy Stinson (formerly of the Replacements and G'n'R) was playing bass on tour with them. How could I not go?

I won't say that I was disappointed. In fact, I thought they played quite well. Some of the new songs off their new album were good, and I thought one, in particular, sucked. They have more of a bluesy/bar-band feel and I'm not always into that stuff. They reached back a lot to Grave Dancers' Union, and played just the big two (cartoon and sometime...) from Hang Time, but nothing from ...and the horse... They were definitely into it, and after popping one of tommy's pills halfway through the show, Pirner was back to running around the stage like a maniac. Although the show seemed a bit short and I was kind of glad about it, I would have preferred a few more from the older library.

One funny thing was said by Dan Murphy that didn't quite make sense. I thought he said that back in the day, they used to play in gardens ant the this place was a dump. Don't know if I misheard him or if he was joking or if he was serious. Maybe it's just that there wasn't much of a fan-base there.

Weed

I rented the Showtime series, Weeds, from netflix last week, as it popped up as a recommendation and I'd seen some online ads for it. We popped it in on Friday night after we were disappointed with The Fantastic Four. We were so into it, even without smoking pot, that we ended up watching all 6 of the episodes on the first disk of season 1.

Each episode starts off with Malvina Reynolds singing the song "Little Boxes" over a visual of a typical SoCal suburban neighborhood, complete with every house, car, pet and person looking exactly the same. This exemplifies one of the problems I have with America at the moment. (Apparently, for season 2, the producers are getting different artists to perform the song every week. Elvis Costello and Death Cab for Cutie are the first two listed.)

So the show uses the scheme of a widower in this typical american suburb selling weed as a way to maintain her "lifestyle". It's a pretty good premise for a show, and the story lines expand way beyond the main premise, which, however, is always around in the background somehow.

The stories are good, the acting is good. I can't wait to get the next 6 episodes for another marathon session. Almost as good as the real thing.

A kid was shot in our neighborhood the other day...

One of our young neighbors was shot and killed on Monday afternoon. He was 17 years old and about to start his senior year. Here's some links: sfgate.com, NOPNA blog.

It's sad for a number of reasons, and has gotten me to thinking a lot. Here are some of the lowlights of the situation:

• It happened at or around the corner of Baker and Grove. This is about one block in each direction from our abode.
• Pacific Primary is at that corner, and apparently, the shooting occurred right out in front. Something like 30 shots were fired, including some from his buddy running down the street towards the incident. Luckily, nobody else was hurt. This is where we are hoping to send Cobalt.
• Aubrey lived in the neighborhood. I think it was just down the street on Grove accros from the fire station, but I'm not sure. I know that many times I've walked by and said hello to a group of young men hanging out in front. They always seemed polite.
• As is the case with many crimes of this nature in this city, no witnesses are coming forward.
• There are several pot clubs on or around divis, just a couple of blocks away. I don't think it's related in any way, but I do see young black men in fancy cars popping in to do some shopping, even though they sure don't look like they have a medical necessity for it.
• There is also some kind of dealing that has gone on a few blocks down at central. I have not seen them there in the last couple of weeks, however. Again, not that there is anything wrong with it, but some of the traffic it brings is stereotypically comical.

I always feel safe in the neighborhood, even when walking late at night. I don't think that's gonna change any because of this, but I don't know if I can't help but be a little more wary about slow moving rides.

When did he become some cute?

The last couple of times at the playground, Cobalt has done some things, unprompted that he has never done before that just made my heart sink. I'm sure every parent has these moments, but they are just too cute to pass up writing about...

First, we always used to have to prompt him to climb the jungle gym and go down the slide. Now, the last couple of trips, he not only has gone willingly, but doesn't want to stop! He runs up the stairs as fast as he can, and decends the slide with a "weeee" every time. He also learned (but has since forgotten), that sand on a metal slide make it more slippery.

Second, we witnessed him playing catch with another kid yesterday. Kyle and I were sitting at the edge of the sand pit at the panhandle playground as we sat in wonderment at our son (the formerly non-inertactive playground kid) tossed a soccerball back and forth with another kid. We sat in total amazement and just put our arms around each other. We were like "is that our boy?"

And lastly, we've been trying to teach the boy to throw things in the trash. Every once in a while, while walking home from daycare, he decides he wants to pick something up that he finds on the sidewalk, e.g. bottlecap, cigarette butt, etc.) Last Friday, our friend Andrew graciously volunteered to take Cobalt off our hands so we could go see An Inconvenient Truth, a.k.a., the Al Gore movie (perhaps more on that later). Anyway, when we got home, Andrew told us a couple of things that happened at the playground. First, the kid was the last one standing (See first item above). Second he found a cigarette butt in the sand and Andrew told him to put it in the trash and he ran across the playground and stood on the fence to try to throw it in the trash bin. He missed, but wtf? He ran to throw out a butt? How cool is that?

And lastly...the other night we ran out of milk and I had to walk down to Ray's on Divis to get some. Mom was working around the house, so I decided to walk Cobalt with me, even though he was in his fleece sleeper. For the first time ever, he held my hand the whole way down. He never does that, and reluctantly holds my hand to cross the streets. The only time he paused was to say high to the folks at the dispensery. He must have caught the munchies after passing the pot club, because inside the store, he wanted some popcorn and it took him a while to decide which flavor to get.

Bake me a cake as fast as you can

Kyle and J spent last Saturday baking and assembling (respectively) the cake you see above. It was a surprise for Dera-Jill's birthday. The cake is a white cake with almond paste. Daquois (meringue) was used to give it some crispy. Marzapan was used to make the shapes. Homeade Raspberry sauce and almond-butter-cream frosting was used as the glue.

Kyle wanted to make an abstract representation of their house...
I think she did a pretty good job. It was quite fun, actually. Because of the rare warm summer in SF (see half-naked man to the right), she had to put the cake in the freezer to help the butter cream firm up.

We brought the cake over when Zach took D-J out to dinner, with her family from MA.

Better than the Flea Market

Ok, so we've been busy lately. Haven't even had time to blog. Is blog even a verb? Well, what have we been up to? Besides work and the "heat wave", we've been buying more stuff for the house.

Why do I care about shopping? And why should anyone else (not that anyone actually reads this)? Frankly, we've been getting some killer deals, thanks to craigslist, garage sales and friends. Here's the list for the last two weeks alone (est. retail in parenthesis):

1) Toddler Bed - $30($75) from craigslist.

Cobalt slept in his bed the very first night we put it up. At 32lbs and 36-1/2", he was getting a little big for crib. This is a very basic IKEA model, but hey, what the hell. It should be good for a year or two.

2) Bicycle Trailer for the little guy - $30($130) from craigslist.

I fixed Kyle's bike last fall, and cleaned mine up around Bastille Day (aka, Toby's Birthday). Now that we had working bikes, what would we do with the boy when we went for a ride? We decided to go with a trailer rather than the back seat, due to his extra-large size. This is about the bottom of the line (of the acceptable brands, anyway). It's better than the ones one can get at Target, Walmart or Costco, and not as good as the trailers at REI, for example. We've already gone on 4 rides: the first night was just around the panhandle, because we didn't have a helmet for him yet. After finding a helmet (and fighting with the little guy to try it on), we went for our first ride out to the ocean. This is a picture from that Sunday morning. Note that it was about 80 degrees at ocean beach. On 2 out of 3 trips to the beach so far, Cobalt has fallen asleep on the way back. So it can't be all that uncomfortable.

3) Picnic Table for the back yard - $100($200?) from garage sale down the street on the way to pick up Cobalt's helmet.

We were all set to build one of these puppies, and had been searching for old or extra decking wood on craigslist when we came across this just down the street. It was a no-brainer and a god-send. We broke it in with visits from those escaping the heat...Wei, Russ and Radlee up from San Jose on Saturday and Kyle, Rox, Zuby and Benny coming down from a scorching 112F in Ukiah on Sunday.

The table and chairs and in good shape. We cleaned them real well and just need to oil them.

4) Sideboard-type antiquey thing - FREE ($40-$400) from Kyle's co-worker, Lise (congrats on the new house!)

We got the best possible price on this lovely item...FREE. Lise just bought a house in Glen Park with her partner and decided that after 20 years (plus additional from her sister before her) or so that it was time to part with it. Not sure how to describe it, but we are using it as a sideboard. We now have the commode that came from vermont and this thing flanking the "fireplace". Much better than the stack of ikea cubes we had there before. I think we now have room for all of our linens and candles and then some. Of course, Kyle has already filled it up.

5) Futon, twin-bed size - $10 ($150?) from craigslist.

After my Parents come to visit in August, we will have a homestay student from China staying with us for a month. This will give us a little bit of added cash so we can keep Johnny and Cari for the dogs, while we try to save money for our housing default account, future repairs and Cobalt's college fund. Kyle has stayed at homestays in the past and has had several students stay with her back on Lyon street, one of which was partially responsible for Teeva's "nails" incident. Here's to hoping it doesn't happen again!

The picture above shows the futon in the living room, but we plan on putting it into the studio/office/junk room as soon as we get it cleaned up and painted. It's actually quite comfortable, and we like it wear it is. Maybe we'll replace the rocker that usually sits there.

It's funny, the night before I found this, I said to Kyle that I didn't think we were going to be able to find what we were looking for on craigslist, and might have to buy a new one or settle for a cheap twin bed that we could sell again after the homestay leaves. And what do you know, not an hour later this was posted and I picked it up on the way home from work (on a Sunday, yuk!).

I'm sure there'll be more to come and we'll keep you posted. Until then, happ shopping.

Grown' Grass, Pt. 2

Kyle's modest lawn is growing so well that it is now ready to be cut. So she bought some shears at Sloat and gave the grass a cutting.

Growin' Grass

Kyle's been working hard at getting the back yard together. The plants that we brought over from the inner sunset seem to enjoy the panhandle much better. The lemon tree has lots of buds, the rosemary and lavender are turning into bushes and the azalea is flourishing. Furthermore, we mounded and seeded the little area under the pine to grow some grass. Here are some before and after...

Father's Day

I'm not going to write about father's day except to wish it to my father, for being there more than I thought. And also to thank Kyle, for doing a second coat and the accent on the kithen yesterday. Such an ipmrovement.

We rushed Cobalt to the emergency room the other night. He woke up coughing and sounding like choking. Kyle and I were watching a movie and well... when we heard him start to choke, Kyle freaked a little and put it into automatic. We were to Kaiser within 10 minutes of Cobalt waking up. I guess it's a good thing to have your hospital just up the street a few blocks.

As it turns out, he has a case of croup. Nothing serious, and probably not worth the trip to the emergency room, but that's ok. He's still barking and breathing.

Oh, and the grass is growing in the back yard. I'll have pictures soon.

Memorable Day Weekend

Wow! What a weekend! Where to begin...

The weekend started out fabulously on Friday night. We had To Kill a Mockingbird at home from netflix and I fell asleep watching it. (I ended up finishing it on Saturday morning.) I had niether seen nor read the story before. I don't know how I could have gotten through jr high or high school without at least seeing it in some literature class. The characters are all fabulous: Atticus Finch(Gregory Peck), the single father of two and lawyer to those who cannot afford one. Scout and Jem, his two kids, ever so smart and yet quite innocent. Dill, their new friend who spends the summers with their neighbor, his aunt. (I think he must have been based on Truman Capote). And what a surprise Robert Duvall as the young, retarded Boo Radlee.

It's such a beautiful story of giving and acceptance and simplying doing what is "right". I find it amazing that it was written in the fifties, about a time in the thirties, and is still contemporary to this day, in 2006! Although the atmosphere is not the same today, and racicsm and classism are not as overt as they once were, but when you scratch the surface, its not hard to find it.

We also spent a lot of time working around the house, as well. J cleaned out the storage closet, again, made some terrifically awesome oatmeal cookies and prepared for a Saturday night picnic at the opera and a Sunday BBQ with the Connors. Meanwhile, Kyle worked her magic in the yard, pulling Jades, chopping the palm/yucca thing in the corner, and planting many of the plants that we used to have in pots on the porch of the old place in the inner sunset.

Saturday night, we went downtown to see Madame Butterfly. It was the first performance by the San Francisco Opera to ever be simulcast live. The projected the opera onto a big screen with terrific sound in the lawn out into the civic center plaza in front of City Hall (where we got married ;)) The performance was absolutely spectacular. Butterfly and Pinkerton meshed quite well together...their voices complemented each other beautifully. Furthermore, the image on the screen was crystal-clear, as was the sound. We packed another spectacular picnic of wine, cheese, salami and pasta salad, with strawberries for dessert.

When the sun went down over city hall, and the opera started, something or someone woke Cobalt up and he stayed up and stayed awake for the entire opera. We wondered to ourselves if it wasn't his grandmother, as Butterfly was one of her favorite roles. He only started to fade towards the end, during the musical portion of the night when Pinkerton returned and Butterfly waited up. At that point, daddy and he went over to play on the playground.

Ghosts

Last night, none of us could sleep very well. I think I was battling a cold. Kyle's been up to her ears in work and LEAP activities. And Cobalt, well, I think he's having growing pains! The poor kid is so big, and keeps on growing. He's been waking in the middle of the night crying, but not wanting to get up for anything. We've been bringing him to bed with us and that usually works.

Last night, however, mom started rubbing his legs and knees, and that was the only thing that calmed him down enough to go back to sleep. He's such a big softie. I hope he stays that way, well, maybe toughens up a little bit. After about fifteen minutes of Kyle working the legs and me on the arms, back and stomach, he finally went back to sleep.

On the other hand, the boy hasn't been doing the dookie much lately, and has been eating up a storm. So he might be slightly stopped up. It's really hard to say. I guess he could be using all his food for growth. But the farts that kid has are something else! Its almost as though he has a trumpet in his but.

Anyway, we did all finally get to sleep. I had strange dreams, including some that might indicate we have ghosts...good ghosts.

Talk!Talk!Talk!

Cobalt is now over 18 months old and still not talking. Some days its a bit disturbing and disheartening; others, its just fine.
Yesterday was one of those days where I just wish he could talk. Mom was away at a retreat for the LEAP Board of Directors and I had Cobalt all to myself. Although he can communicate quite well, it would have been nice if he could actually tell me what he wants with WORDS! Instead, he would do things like run to the refrigerator, or point to the fruit basket, or scream his lungs out. After eating Mac 'n' Cheese for lunch, I thought he'd be ready for a nap. But after he asked to get out of his chair, he ran to the front door as if to say "take me to the playground". BTW, at the playground, the little guy climbed the ladder for the very first time!
What got me thinking about this was an article I heard on the radio on the way home from work on Friday. It was about how kids, er, infants, are being taught sign language between 7 and 12 months. I'd heard of this before, but have never thought much of it. The people running the program claim that children develop their vocabulary sooner and read earlier as a result of learning ASL. But then they had some parent commenting on how they now know when the kid wants milk because he makes the motion of milking a teet with his hands, and I thought "shit, Cobalt's been doing that since before he was one, what the fuck's the difference?"
To some extend, communication is communication no matter what form it takes. As long as we know what he wants, it just doesn't make a difference whether he's communicating in english, spanish, sign, german or whatever. He's still communicating, and that's what matters.

Black Jellybeans

Last night, we went to an opening for Julie's cousin, Teddy at the John Spence Gallery here in San Francisco.

Cobalt was fairly well behaved. He ran around a bit and liked one sculpture in particular, which was a square with a hole in the middle. He also got to run around with a little 19-month-old named Hugh. To quote Hugh's father, "We named him Hugh so he'd never sleep alone. But with a name like Cobalt, he'll never sleep alone, either."

In addition to having wine, water, pellegrino, etc for refreshments, the gallery also had a fishbowl of Jellybeans. And thanks to g.ma's easter gift this year, Cobalt loves jellybeans. After eating several, his hands became quite sticky. These must have been the Brach's brand, because they melted in hands. So in order to try to break his new-found addiction, Kyle decided to let him try a black one. Now personally, I don't like the black jellybeans as they taste like licrorice. The only person that I know that likes black jellybeans is my mom (a.k.a., g.ma).

Well, the little experiment didn't quite yield the results we expected. Cobalt actually couldn't decide if he liked it or not. Instead, he kept pulling the black jellybean in and out of his mouth. The dye in the jellybean was so strong, that for the rest of the night, his face and hands were stained black. If you were to see his hands afterwards, you'd swear he had been working on his car.

Click on the image for the complete flickr set.